Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Dealing With The Feeling

There are a variety of feelings I experience in a day. Happy, gloomy, excited, nervous, jealous, angry, irritated, ecstatic and many other kinds that I can’t even remember to scribble down because I’m still under the spell of the feeling I sensed today. Not that it was a positive feeling, but it sure did transfix me for a moment. I felt this new & uncommon (for me) feeling that I don’t really come across with. Or I think maybe I was too na├»ve to sense it before now.
I was strolling in my academy, waiting for my instructor to come when I saw this very cute kitten sitting on the pathway. I have always adored kittens & I desperately want to own one but sadly my parents don’t like pets so I cannot keep them in my house. So as my sight fixed upon that cute little creature, my feet comprehended the order and dragged me towards it. I, in a very playful manner started calling it by different names. Meow-ed at it. Snapped my fingers to attract it towards me and did some weird hand movements, all to get it attracted. The kitten was staring at me like its mind was perceiving a funny figurine of mine. It continued staring with its super innocent button eyes by keeping its head on its forelimbs. I reckoned it wanted me to come close and pat it, so I moved an inch more closer to it but as soon as I moved, it twitched, stood up, and defended itself by creeping inside the pipe it was sitting upon, through a hole, and disappeared into thin air. I thought, maybe I scared it with my hand movement. Disenchanted, I stood up and walked away towards the office to see if my instructor had come or not. There was no sign of him so I started strolling on the same track once again. As soon as I turned my back to the office I saw that very same kitten sitting in the very same spot it was reclining upon, before it went into the pipe. Unable to restrain my affection towards kittens, I started moving towards it once again and tried to create a playful atmosphere, but this time with a comparatively reassuring and comforting manner. I tried to make a few sounds that helped me make it motionless and it started staring at me with an intent look. So I stretched out my hand to pat it but this time once again, it disappeared in its shelter in a split second. My hand was still there where it’s “unpatted” body had been. But the kitten itself was long gone and disappeared. It came out again after a minute but whenever it sensed my pace towards it, it ran away from me. That was the moment when I sensed this feeling. The feeling of rejection it was. I don’t usually experience it, call it my good luck or call me blessed but this sporadic feeling sure made me feel so down for a while.
Coda: Come’on that was just a kitten. Next time I see any kitten, I’m going to attract it towards me by feeding it. That, I suppose, is the best way to make a cat like you.

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