Sunday, February 23, 2014

Seeking (In)sanity

Do you ever get that feeling? That feeling of wanting to become invisible? Not a super-power kind of feeling. But something more of an I-don’t-like-being-seen-by-anyone kind. The feeling that doesn’t have the feeling of insecurity in it. It’s the feeling when you actually are with your own self. It’s the feeling when you are your own mentor, your own partner, your own SELF. I feel that. I want to get vanished. I don’t want to get vanished to get noticed. I’ve been noticed quite enough, already. Why does it matter anyway? Why would I matter to people? Where is this thing heading to? I’m becoming incoherent now. But I dare you stop me! Leave me here, banging these keys. I might end up saying something that would help me get my soul back. Wait, my soul? Where is it lost? Is it lost? If you have yourself, does it mean you have your soul, too? If you have your soul, does it mean you necessarily have yourself too? When you have nothing but the thoughts tangling up in your mind, does it mean you are sane? What is sane? Who is sane? You? Yeah, I want to meet you, then. I’m not sane, no. What is insane? I’m not even that. I’m hollow. Insane is for the sane. I’m none. What am I? Why don’t they understand? No, why don’t I understand? I don’t understand because I’m hollow. What a stupid reason! I don’t understand because.. Wait, WAIT! Is that because I want to become invisible? Because I don’t understand? Let’s just get this over with, then. Right here, right now. All I have to do is, understand! But wait, how do I understand? Give me something! Give me something, for the sake of every good thing you ever encountered. Give me something, I say. Make me understand, please.
I’m here, what now?
Does it matter, anyhow?
The sane triumphs
The crazy, still crazy
The world around him
Is still the same round
Lose it all.
Get it all.
Does it matter
Big or small?
Oh human, you human
You’ll see after all
Who disappears
And who stands tall

 What does it feel like, not being seen by anyone?
Take me away!

Sunday, February 9, 2014

Must You Speak?

Let's just not speak, today. Let's just sit here, quietly. Let's just not say a word, not a thing. Let's just not disturb the beauty of silence, today. Let's just stare at each other and converse through our eyes. The silence has so much to say. Why do you not let it speak? It has so much to share. Why do you make it hard on yourself to hear? I want to make it easy for the silence to speak, before it explodes. I want the silence to speak through our eyes. The eyes have so much to tell. I want them to let it all out, today. So sit across me. I swear, I won't say a thing. I'll just stare into your eyes. I'll make a bridge between the two pairs of eyes and would start a journey that would take me to your soul, through your eyes. I would step into the vista of your sight. I would see colors, and patterns, and shapes. I'll see mysteries, and stories, and feelings. I'll see everything that dwells in your eyes. Don't say a word, it will destroy the stillness. Don't speak, it would break the bridge. Let me see the vastness, the void, the abyss that lies in your eyes. Let me silently talk to the emotions. Let me swim in the tears. Let me see how they determine to come out as the tears of happiness or sadness. Let me figure out what goes on inside. Let me make your eyes my soul's acquaintance, today. Let's just swallow our tongues. Let's just not speak, for goodness sake! Voices seem like a deafening sound to me. Whispers sound like a scream to me. So just let the calmness of silence engulf me. Let me swim in the ocean of your eyes. Let me be the vision of your sight, today. Let me explore them through the silence of our souls. Let me travel the universe you hold in your eyes. Let me see in your eyes, the constellations, that one beautiful brightest star that stands out, the planets, the galaxies. Let me in, just once. Let me in, so I can look through your eyes. I could stare at them unless I get to complete my journey. This journey would be divine, it would be sensational. This journey, I wouldn't want to miss for the world. Let me venture on this journey, today. I don't want you to speak. Just let today be the eyes, only. Let today be silent.
Let today be silent.