Sunday, February 23, 2014

Seeking (In)sanity

Do you ever get that feeling? That feeling of wanting to become invisible? Not a super-power kind of feeling. But something more of an I-don’t-like-being-seen-by-anyone kind. The feeling that doesn’t have the feeling of insecurity in it. It’s the feeling when you actually are with your own self. It’s the feeling when you are your own mentor, your own partner, your own SELF. I feel that. I want to get vanished. I don’t want to get vanished to get noticed. I’ve been noticed quite enough, already. Why does it matter anyway? Why would I matter to people? Where is this thing heading to? I’m becoming incoherent now. But I dare you stop me! Leave me here, banging these keys. I might end up saying something that would help me get my soul back. Wait, my soul? Where is it lost? Is it lost? If you have yourself, does it mean you have your soul, too? If you have your soul, does it mean you necessarily have yourself too? When you have nothing but the thoughts tangling up in your mind, does it mean you are sane? What is sane? Who is sane? You? Yeah, I want to meet you, then. I’m not sane, no. What is insane? I’m not even that. I’m hollow. Insane is for the sane. I’m none. What am I? Why don’t they understand? No, why don’t I understand? I don’t understand because I’m hollow. What a stupid reason! I don’t understand because.. Wait, WAIT! Is that because I want to become invisible? Because I don’t understand? Let’s just get this over with, then. Right here, right now. All I have to do is, understand! But wait, how do I understand? Give me something! Give me something, for the sake of every good thing you ever encountered. Give me something, I say. Make me understand, please.
I’m here, what now?
Does it matter, anyhow?
The sane triumphs
The crazy, still crazy
The world around him
Is still the same round
Lose it all.
Get it all.
Does it matter
Big or small?
Oh human, you human
You’ll see after all
Who disappears
And who stands tall

 What does it feel like, not being seen by anyone?
Take me away!


  1. I wish I could send you Harry's cloak.

  2. i always want to hide. maybe that's one common thing about us bloggers, there's so much out there that gives us pain so we find consolation from letting it all out (or as much as we're willing to let out) least for me, i guess. i blog to share my pain to those who don't know me and can't judge me.

    1. That's true! It's the place where I can let it all out without being judged because people here don't know me in real life.

  3. Why is this post so relate-able? It is like reading my own thoughts.

    1. I believe the phases we're going though are similar, that's why.