Just a Little Letter

Dear Abbu,

I hope you’ll be fine and happy. I wish you to be happy wherever you are. No matter what place, no matter what time, I only want you to have happiness around you. I am doing well, too. I am doing okay. Alhumdulillah. I was thinking about you and decided to write you a letter. I'll keep it very short.

I just want you to know that I know. Do you think I didn’t realize you were crying when I was lying with you with my head on your shoulder? Do you think I didn’t feel the tear drop that fell on my arm that was hugging you? I know you cried. I know you cried almost every night when my days of departure were getting nearer. I’m sorry I made a habit of sleeping with you every night even when you told me I was making it hard for you by doing so. I realized it later how you would have missed seeing me at that spot that I used to sleep in, every night. I’m sorry for that but I wanted to spend as much time as possible with you. I saw you in my dream and maybe that’s because I've been thinking about you. I won’t take a lot of your time but I really wanted to jot my thoughts down. I just wanted you to know that I know a lot of things that you think I don’t know. You can’t hide them from me. You can’t make me happy by hiding sadness underneath your skin that fakes a different expression.

No, I did not forget. It’s your birthday! Happy birthday, Abbu jee! I wish that out of all the moments that you’ll have in your life, not a single one would bring a speck of sadness around you. I pray to Allah that my life, my existence, and my presence would never bring unhappiness or sadness in any way to you. I pray that you’d never get sad because of me, ever. I pray that whenever you see me or hear my name, it’d bring a smile on your face and peace to your heart.

We’ll see each other soon, inshaa Allah.

With love,
Yusra.