Saturday, October 27, 2012

Just Another Day

It's Eid today. It seems like it. But doesn't that mean celebrating the day? Then what am I doing here, writing?
It's Eid today. Shouldn't I be saying it with a joy in my voice? But believe me, I'm just saying it, coolly.
It's Eid today. Shouldn't I be flaunting off my shimmery Eid dress? Why am I tucked in my bed in my plain clothes, then?

Somewhere, while growing up, something must have gone wrong. Because when I was a kid, Eid really was something. Back then, I'd wear my shimmery dress weeks before Eid, kicking off a small Eid dress rehearsal of my own. I used to wait eagerly for it to come. I used to peek inside my shoe box one hundred times in a day, just to see my new flashy sandals lying there, smiling back at me. All I wanted was to fast forward the clocks to the big day - the Eid day, back when I was a child..

So where are all those feeling gone now? Is that what growing up means? Getting deprived of the real happiness? I want all of it to come back to me. I dropped it somewhere while climbing the ladder of ages. I haven't even replied to any of those Eid texts yet. I just don't feel like it and I'm hating it, having to feel this way.

I'm not sad, trust me I'm not. Frowning on the Eid day would be the very last thing I'd want to do. All I'm trying to find is the way to get back what I used to have. I don't want to spend it like just another day. I don't want to fake my feelings either by saying how excited I am for this day. The excitement is gone. It has vanished away. I'm missing my old days. I'm happy because I have a weighty reason for that: my family. My mommy, my daddy, my sisters. I joked with them this morning. In fact, we didn't have one serious talk since I've woken up. I hugged them. I ate vermicelli - the traditional Eid breakfast. Oh I don't like calling it vermicelli. It's sawayyan. It always has been. My mom has cooked smoked chicken and biryani for lunch, well that adds a dash of it being a special day. But now what? They're couched in front of the TV watching those cliche shows with celebrities laughing and dancing and telling the viewers how they spend their Eid day and I sneaked into my room because I don't want to hear their stories. I have my own story to tell. I don't care if anyone's interested in it or not. I'm glad I can give vent to my feelings.

It's Eid today. Is it really?

10 comments:

  1. Ok...I am not alone feeling like that !


    Happy Eid

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  2. aslamo alaikum and eid mubarrak!

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  3. Hey, i wondered if the atmosphere or frontiers did it to me. but seeing you anchored in the context feeling this way, there's sure a problem.
    I wrote a similar article not so long...

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  4. You've put it in such a nice way where you said 'So where are all those feeling gone now? Is that what growing up means? Getting deprived of the real happiness?'

    The true spirit of Eid is really gone. Even if we do make an effort about it, the rest would always be too engaged with the telly that it won't make a difference. There should be a difference, a charm to the Eid day!

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  5. I thought, it was only me!

    It did not feel like Eid at all.

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  6. You have kinda echoed my sentiments, word to word. Something is amiss, surely.

    Btw, first time on your blog. Pleasure to be here ...

    http://thediaryofaliar.blogspot.com/

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  7. Querida amiga Yusra !

    Perdoa-me a invasão de seu espaço, mas a achei no World-Directory. Seu Blog é belíssimo e seus textos com excelentes conteúdos. Gostei mesmo. Está de parabéns. Já sou seu seguidor.
    Beijos de luz !!!

    POETA CIGANO - 04/11/2012

    http://carlosrimolo.blogspot.com
    (Poesias do Poeta Cigano).

    Macaé- Rio de Janeiro - Brasil

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  8. I think it's just that we are growing old and not the time is changing.

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  9. Very true. Eid is just like any other day for me now a days. As a child i used to enjoy a lot in Eid.

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