The Dark Lights

Upon entering this world I opened my eyes and got hit by the blinding worldly lights. I curiously looked at those eccentric lights around me and cried. I cried because I knew the intent of those lights was to make me blind. They seemed like an elixir of some magical flecks that got me captivated. I looked at them for so long with the creasing edges along my watered eyes to familiarize my vision with those sadly captivating lights. The long stare at those lights made me realize that they had already submerged me into an inescapable misery of the life I was not prepared to live. While I was comprehending them, I saw people smiling at my tiny existence, holding me as if I was a water bubble waiting to pop up with one wrong movement. I heard them telling my mom and dad that I was the most beautiful newborn they had ever seen. They caressed my fresh, sleek, side parted hair, leaving gentle kisses on my head and cheeks. I saw them flashing lightning smiles at me. Lights again, I pondered. I saw lights in their superficial smiles but there was a dark murky gloom behind them. I watched them as they hopelessly tried to hide the darkness inside them with their smiles. It scared me. At that time I wanted to hush them and tell my parents not to believe a word they were saying. I tried to close my eyes to cease that insincere moment but the worldly light was so enchanting that I kept on staring at it with my eyes wide open, and started crying once again at my helplessness. Not being able to see his crying baby, my father held me and rocked me in his arms, giving me delicate kisses on my forehead while mother tenderly sang a lullaby in my ears to put my restless body at ease. That, I believe, was the very first moment when I couldn't bring them down so I stopped crying, lay down all my defenses, and let us all tread on the deceptively illuminated path. 

As I grew up, I started taking a great pleasure in sitting under the night skies. I enjoyed watching the twinkling stars spreading magic in the sky. They always looked so wonderful to my eyes but deep down I knew it's the darkness of the sky that made the stars show off their glistening lights. The sparkling skies always took me to an illuminated, enchanted journey but as the darkness behind those stars was replaced with light at the crack of dawn, the magical show of stars would disappear. At first I tried madly to find the disappeared stars in the sky but with time I realized that it is not for me but the inky black sky to bring back the magical show of those twinkling stars.

I've also found lights in eyes other than mine, capturing my attention, and daring me to venture on the scariest journeys of my life. The gleaming eyes emitting illuminated tenderness and radiance made me feel that nothing could be truer than this glow. But I was wrong. The light had deceived me once again. Light has always deceived me and even then I have always followed it. Since birth, I was aware of its inherently strange nature. It has been surrounding me for as long as I've been awake now. I've made it my pathfinder for the longest time. It has even followed me in my dreams. There's been a lot of light in my life. I have always chosen the worldly lights to guide me to a truer territory but while doing so, I have always been tricked. I have always put so much faith in these lights but, mysteriously, these lights have always led me into the dark.

Pledges by the Sunsets

"Promise me, my dearest, you’ll watch a sunset by the ocean once in your life," she wrote a note pledging for the beauty of the sunsets to be witnessed.

So find a silent space where you can hear nothing but the sound of water. Detach yourself from the people around you for a little while and look at the wide sea in front of you. Watch the sun dipping down in the water bringing different colours to the sky. Watch the sky getting filled with different colours and spreading beautiful shades as the dazzling sun sets in the mighty sea. Find a twig and write in the sand. Write down all the beautiful words you’ve ever heard of. Write down a secret and see it get washed away by a wave. Write as many secrets as you want and watch the waves moping them all away into the womb of the ocean. The ocean will always keep your secrets to itself, never giving them away. Put a beautiful message in the bottle and let it ride on a wave of water, away from you. Watch the sunset fading away the brightness making silhouettes of the objects around you. Stand against the waves with your arms wide open and breathe in the scent of salty water. Watch the water crashing at your feet. Watch how the foamy water gives you pecks on your feet and goes away savouring them, until the next encounter. Watch how the foamy liquid melts at your steps and moves you along with it. See the mightiness of the sea as the waves soar high and crash on the ground, breaking down into various sized droplets only to unite again with the ocean. Let your feet know how the sand feels on the skin of your bare feet. Feel the specks of sand sitting there in humility getting crushed under your feet, getting drowned in the flowing water. Look for the naturally carved beautiful seashells in the sand. Let the wind ruffle you hair as you let it strike your face. Imagine yourself running on the water. Imagine all the beautiful things by letting your senses get responsive to the nature wrapping itself around you. Walk along the shoreline accompanying yourself with every beautiful thought possible. Stay there, stay till the sun sets down and the darkness overcomes. Stay there and, not just watch, but feel the beauty of nature.

She thought all that as she scratched out some lines on the note and rewrote it.

"Promise me, my dearest, you’ll feel the sunset by the ocean once in your life."